Sometimes I feel like a burden to my friends, housemates, and family I hate feeling this way. It is so hard to be optimistic and not anxious about this. There are days when I don't want to get out of bed and face the day because of my mental health. This has been going on for a long while, I finally just had to admit it. Today is that day.
Today I am grateful being able to go back to Physical Therapy. I am working on strengthening my lower back and my core. My left side is considerably weaker than the right side. I hope by Spring that both sides will be stronger again. My sister, who lives across the ocean from me, is coming to visit! I want to be much stronger for that.
We are having the Spring Recital in a few weeks. I am rather excited about this one because we haven't had a recital since June. It will be fun. We wil have a good mix of Saxophone, Clarinet, and Singers. I don't have any piano students who are going to participate in this recital. There is always the next one!
So, today is the 23rd of January and I am writing my first post. This month has been, well, difficult at times. There have been a few days that I really felt useless and had no purpose, fortunately, things are better now. I did take a lot of pictures for the 365 project. I have thought about it, generally late at night, right when I am about to go to bed.
Finally! I think I may have figured out how to add new posts. It has been an interesting couple of days. Sunday was a migraine day and night. It was not a good day. I think I slept all day and night. Thankfully it wasn't too long.
I am thankful for my little pup, Peony. Peony is a 10 year old terrier mix dog. She is a really good companion. I like to take her with me on errand runs. She is a good dog, mostly. There are too many days that the only thing that gets me through the day is Peony. Sometimes the exhaustion is like a wall I am trying to break through. Peony sleeps in my room. She has a bed in my bedroom and in the living room. Whenever I have a student here for their music lesson, Peony goes and lays down under the piano bench or the piano. I know she loves all the students I have had and she loves music. It is so sweet. I just love her so much! I had no idea how much a person could love an animal. I love this dog so much. Peony is one of the best parts of my life. I have very high anxiety and Peony helps calm me down. I have ADHD and my anxiety is most likely from my ADHD.
Today was a really good day for me. I feel like I climbed a mountain! I have a lot of brain fog issues from the Fibromyalgia. In March of 203, I had come down with Vasculitis. It was rather painful, however, somehow I lucked out and it went into remission except for the headache, of which I have had ever since. There are a few days a month now that I wake up and I don't have a headache for about an hour or so, after that, the daily, never ending headache is back. So yes, I have had this headache for amost 22 years now.
Anyways, I have Fibromyalgia and many of the other issues that go right along with it, Brain Fog, Poor Memory, and Poor Concentation being the worst. I also have ADHD. I do consider most of my ADHD a super power as I really thindk it really fuels my creativity in music and other arts.
In the 90's I did most of my income taxes myself.I generally had a part time job and my self employment job of teach private music lessons. I did have someone else do them starting aroud 2001, a friend who was an expert as my taxes were getting much more complicated. After about 2010, I began to have problms getting the info needed to my friend before April 15th, however, in 2023, my friend retired. In 2024, I did my income taxes myself for the first time since 2001 AND I had them done by the end of February. Today!!! Yes!!!! Today, I finished the 2024 taxes plus they are already sent in! This is the earliest I have ever had my income taxes done and I am really happy about this. I feel like I accomplished something monumental!
In addition to finishing and sending in my taxes, I saw my doctor's PA this morning. I wanted to speak with her about possibly going to physical therapy again. I asked she thought I was ready. She agreed, so tomorrow I will call and see when I can start! I had one student today, a vocal student. She did a great job with her new song. It is a Mozart piece.
So everything all together made this a good day!!
February 5, 2025
It has been rather cold around here for a few weeks now. We recently had some accumulation of the white stuff also known as SNOW! As a child, I loved winter. My mother used to create a ice skating rink in our backyard, yes, a really good ice skating rink. In junior high, I learned how to downhill ski., of which I loved. I was not an adventurous skier, bunny hills and a hill above bunny hills would always work for me. Anyways, I digress. Back to Monday!!! Our front sidewalk from the front door to the driveway is rather slippery in the winter when it is super cold because ice melt and rock salt do NOT work at the low temperatures we have been having. I needed to go and pick up a couple o things that could no longer wait so I got ready to go out. I put a leash on my little dog, Peony to come with me. That was not a good idea. I carefully stepped down on the step and then the sidewalk while I was spreading the sand over the ice. In these really cold temps, sand works pretty well for helping ice to be less slippery. When I ran out of sand that was in the cup I had in my hand, I decided to walk on the grass. As I stepped almost on the grass, I slipped and tumbled as I fell on the ground. Yup. I am sure it was spectacular! I called Acer and he came outside to see. For some reason I was able to actually hold on to Peony and her leash, shocking I know. Acer took her in after he found me on the ground. I called a neighbor to see if he or any of his family were home to come and help me up. He sent another neighbor to help. I was so thankful. I was not on the ground for long. It is hard to believe that I used to be graceful and a dancer! I loved dance so much. It was very heartbreaking when I had to stop dancing. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I would love to be able to dance again. That is my dream. I have danced a lot in my dreams at night.
February 8, 2025
Kathy and one of her daughters came to visit for the weekend. We originally planned the visit last month, however, the weather did NOT cooperate with our plans. She lives on the othe side of the state and their city gets quite a lot of snow because of the lake effect. We did get some, just not as much. We are no longer in a snowbelt area.
I decided on New Year's Day that I wanted to give a surprise birthdaher smile. It worked. She had a good time. We went to a chinese restaurant then we came back here to my house for cake and ice cream! Her 2 sisters-in-law came and so did A. C had goalball practice so she could not attend. Kathy got some really nice gifts. C and A went in on her gift. She loves fuzzy socks. We got her several pairs. I also got her a book, "Tell Me the Story of your Life's Journey". It is a guided journal. It is super cool. One of my students, S, made the cake. Boy, was it yummy!! Tomorrow, Kathy, her daughter, and I are going to breakfast before the 2 of them head home.
Kathy was very surprised about the party. Her sisters-in-law were a big surprise too. I knew they were coming. It was so fun. I did achieve my goal. The party made Kathy smile and feel special, which she really is! Kathy is special. Best friends for 54 years and counting.
February 13, 2025
i started a new session of Physical Therapy this afternoon! After fracturing a bone in the left side of my pelvic area and 2 falls, I currently have much difficulty standing up straight. Walking has also become a difficult task too. I do like my Physical Therapist Ashe seems to know all about how fibromyalgia works and how it affects the muscles and joints. When I said that I was trying something new, he looked it up. Swing care accepts my insurance now. It is a relief. He read through the intro and got the gist of how the clinic is put together. When we were finished, he told me what he wanted me to do if I am more sore tomorrow. That was a first for me. I was surprised by that, it was a good surprise. I will have two sessions for about six weeks.